EXCLUSIVE: GOAL sat down with the USMNT defender to discuss his journey, doubts, anxiety and World Cup ambitions
Tim Ream recognized the symptoms. He'd experienced them many times before, although they were more powerful this time. His heart was beating out of his chest. His throat was tightening. Everything around him suddenly seemed tense.
This, he says, was his body responding to anxiety and, at this point in his career, he had the wisdom to recognize it. Yet this time, the anxiety wasn't the result of something happening on the field. Instead, it was the result of a phone call.
On the other end was Gregg Berhalter, who was calling to let Ream know he wanted to include him on the U.S. men's national team's squad for the 2022 World Cup. This was everything Ream had ever worked for, and something he had long since given up on. Ream felt that rush, but there was also a sense of panic. Ream felt it for several days straight.
"There are just so many thoughts, and I think that's the issue," he tells GOAL. "There are so many thoughts that just run through your head all of a sudden. And suddenly it's on top of you. You're thinking about scenarios before they even happen. It's not that I felt like I couldn't do it or that I wasn't good enough. It's just that I had been so set on not going because I had been left out for over a year.
"When that call came, everything just felt like it was nothing. My brain was frazzled. I went to bed that night and I don't think I actually slept. It felt like a culmination of everything that I'd learned, and it wasn't fully excitement."
That call came when Ream was 35. Now 37, he is often painted as the USMNT's elder statesman, the unshakeable veteran that provides calm to a team even in its rockiest moments. Ream, admits that he's not unshakeable. Age and experience have made things easier, yes, but they haven't made them perfect.
He still gets those nerves before big games. He still has those moments of doubt and anxiousness. Like the rest of his USMNT teammates, Ream is looking ahead to another World Cup. It's emotional, it's exciting and, in some ways, it's frightening. Just like that phone call three years ago, next summer will be another culmination. That comes with more than just excitement – there's also anxiety.
Ream does't hide from that. He knows legacies can be written in World Cups, and he's hoping to have one final chapter. But that legacy extends beyond the pitch. He's dedicated himself to work with Virtual Soccer Schools, the initiative he helped found five years ago, allowing him to speak directly with the next generation about topics that, during his youth, were basically taboo.
Anxiety, doubt, excitement, elation, pride – these are all feelings that transcend the sport of soccer. Which is why, even ahead of a World Cup, one of Ream's prime goals is to remind those around him that it's OK to deal with them, too. Life as a professional athlete doesn't make that process easier or harder, Ream says. Those feelings define life, at the end of the day, and Ream is eager to talk about them.
"Why not?" he asks. "What's the point of keeping everything inside? Why let it eat you up? I never had these conversations when I was younger, and it's not because I avoided them. I just think people didn't know how to yet. We've found ways to have these conversations. We all go through the same feelings and we don't just deal with them differently because we're professional athletes."
Tim Ream, the USMNT's seemingly unshakeable veteran, is here to remind everyone that it's OK to be shaken every now and then.
Getty ImagesDealing with doubt
When Ream was in high school, he had a meeting with a guidance counselor. The idea was to map out a path to college and, ultimately, the rest of life. The question, of course, came up: "What do you want to be?"
Ream answered truthfully. He wanted to be a professional soccer player. The response? Pick something else.
"Everyone has that moment that I think they latch onto, and not in an unhealthy way, but just as something that sticks with them," Ream says, reflecting on that meeting all these years later. "Everyone can relate to it. 'Oh, you're not good enough' or 'You can't do that.' That just so happens to be mine. How many career counselors have said that to millions of people? How many kids were able to prove that wrong?
"Just because someone says that, though, at the end of the day, I'm the one who is deciding what failure is, right? That's how I approach doubt. You can talk about it all you want, but that's just lips moving. I'm the one who is physically going to do it."
Dealing with doubt has been a defining aspect of his career. He's felt it throughout his his journey. He felt it after big transfers. He felt it when new managers came in. He felt it when he was written out of the national team picture, brought back, and then written out again after being deemed "too old" by those who follow the USMNT.
Being a professional athlete often means dealing with doubt – and not just when, but how.
"You just have to learn to figure things out," the Charlotte FC defender says. "How long can you hang onto things? How long should you hang onto things? When are you able to look at it and go, 'It's just one day', so that you can wake up to a new day after? There are a lot of cliches involved, yes, but it's all very real. This is all so real.
"There have been so many times where I've thought, 'I'm not going to last here' or 'I shouldn't be here.' But then you figure out that tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to figure it out and prove yourself again. You build that up over the course of your career."
AdvertisementGetty Images SportWorld Cup dreams come true
Just moments before that Berhalter call, Ream was at peace. He'd given up on his World Cup dream. It was easy to understand why. Ream's national team career has, in part, been defined by gaps. He once went three years without an international appearance. There were three more years during this run with only one call-up. Leading up to the 2022 World Cup, Ream hadn't been called in for the better part of a year. He'd given up, and it was his choice.
"I'd been available," he says. "They'd not wanted me. I actually fully turned down the call-up to the friendlies leading up to the World Cup against Japan and Saudi Arabia. I fully turned it down because I'd accepted it. I was way more relaxed because I had accepted it. That call, obviously, it's two ends of the spectrum. It's something so good that you're actually anxious about it.
"For me, it was like 'If I go, I want to play. Can I be that guy?' There are just so many thoughts."
Everyone involved with the USMNT will be thankful that Ream went. He was a rock at the back in Qatar, emerging as a surprise starter and never looking back. His veteran poise was vital for that young U.S. group. What everyone around him didn't realize was that Ream was just as overwhelmed as everyone else.
He remembers bits and pieces of it, in between the chaos of a World Cup. In the moment, it's hard to enjoy, particularly with the stress of what's next.
"I can see glimpses of it," he says. "For me, it's one of those things where, when I'm there, I'm so focused. It's this insane tunnel vision. For me, the only moments that really stick out are the games, obviously, but also the times where you had those few hours of downtime where the families could come."
Part of that is why Ream is so eager for one more go next summer. It felt unthinkable just a few years ago, but Ream continues to fight. That's why this summer's Gold Cup was so important – and he was fully aware of the pressure.
AFPThe Gold Cup run
For those who lived it, the Gold Cup run, in some ways, can be boiled down to hotel rooms and bus rides. That group spent more than 40 days together, so there were plenty of them, and it was in those moments that Ream and the rest of the veterans were reminded of something: this is supposed to be fun.
"The different random things they're all saying, the jumping up and down on the bus, almost giving themselves concussions because they're getting so excited," Ream said of those not-so-quiet moments with his younger teammates. "It's like, 'Hold on a minute, we want to be involved here, what's happening?'
"Everybody was there and we were together for 40 days. Everyone's motivations were different, but we all wanted the same thing: for the program to be on good footing. Everyone has personal reasons, too, and, as we moved city to city, you start talking and it creates these bonds."
After bouncing back from two friendly defeats pre-tournament, the USMNT went on a run, winning five straight games before ultimately falling to rivals Mexico, 2-1, in the final. For Ream, it stung, largely because, as a veteran, he knew some on the outside would be try to invalidate those 40 days. It meant that some would see this run as a failure, as much as he believed it was anything but.
"Did we come up short? Yes," Ream acknowledged. "Did we fail? Sure. We lost the final. We failed in reaching that goal, but that doesn't mean that everything that went into it was wrong. As players, with everything that was going on, everything that was said, we're in a situation where we have to go out and play. I try to take emotion out of it. I know the game is emotional and every game matters.
"It's an opportunity to improve, to win, to build momentum. I try to take emotion out of it as best I can, before and after, I try to be analytical in that way."
Still, that loss hurt. It was why Mauricio Pochettino was tearful in addressing the team in the locker room postgame. Everyone who had been involved in that run had found meaning on that road to that final. Not having it end in catharsis felt unfair. That's life, though. It's a lesson for everyone involved, particularly the younger players.
As he winds down, though, Ream has a few lessons that he wants to teach to the next generation, having nothing to do with Gold Cups, World Cups or wins or losses.
Getty ImagesThe next generation
Ream knows the impact athletes can have. He learned it growing up in St. Louis, with a chance meeting with an NHL legend, Brett Hull, an eight-time All-Star who played more than a decade with the Blues.
"A friend of mine lived near a golf course, and there was a celebrity golf event," Ream recalls. "We were sitting right where they had to cross the street and we saw Brett Hull. He stopped and we had a full-on 30-second conversation. He probably never thought anything of it. All I could think about was, 'If I were ever in his position, if there was ever a kid that could get something from 10 seconds of my time, what's 10 seconds?' What does it cost me to say 'How are you doing?' or 'Happy birthday?'
"Every kid has people they idolize, and I'm not saying I'm one. But if you are, don't disappoint. You may not be the best player. You may not even be their favorite player. A fist bump, an autograph, saying hello – it can change a kid's outlook on life."
It's how Ream got involved with Virtual Soccer Schools. It started as an idea during COVID, when Ream started to think about the virtual schooling his kids were suddenly thrust into. Tom Lamb, a teacher at his kids' school in England, came to Ream with an idea.
What if there was a place for kids to meet with their favorite athletes virtually? What if there was a way to create interactions like Ream had with Hull? And, most importantly, what if those interactions could be used to teach kids that athletes can be idolized, but are human, too?
VSS has branched out. Christian Pulisic, Naomi Girma and Reece James are among those who have been ambassadors. This month, the organization unveiled a Mental Health XI filled with Premier League and Women's Super League stars that will take part in virtual sessions in schools around the world for kids aged eight to 16.
"It's literally just kids asking questions," Ream says. "I can be like, 'You know what? I've been through that and I know what you're saying and what you're feeling.' I hated school in third grade, too! We've all been there. It's about sitting down and having a conversation with kids who just want your time, but they also want to be heard. There are things that kids will ask and, realistically, a lot of them won't go on to be professional athletes, right?
"But you can relate to it. Who hasn't had someone say they aren't good enough or you can't do this or that? You can relate all of these things to everyday life."
Professional athletes can seem to operate in their own sphere, at times, but it's ultimately just about being grounded.
"For me, it's about giving kids the opportunity to grow as people, to be themselves, to not be afraid," he says. "Everybody goes through these things. They're not alone. We all have the same feelings as professional athletes and, yes, sometimes we have to deal with them differently because we're under the microscope.
"But we're not on top of them 24/7. They're working hard in school to be the best they can be. We work in training to be the best we can be. We're all the same, just in different environments. We all have our unique paths to doing that. That's what connects us."